Archive for September, 2010

THE ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAME IS GONNA GIVE ME AN ULCER

Posted in Music with tags , , , , , on 09/29/2010 by Chris

Rock and Roll Hall of Fame board meeting

Rush. KISS. Iron Maiden. Yes. Deep Purple. The Cars. Chicago. The Doobie Brothers. Joe Cocker. Boston. The Moody Blues.

These are just some of the artists (all successful, all influential) who despite having long been eligible for induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, continue to get ignored year after year. To give you a rough idea, Rush and KISS have both been eligible for 11 years now, which means they’ve been ignored 11 times. But hey, go ahead and put LL Cool J in – clearly he deserves to be in there more than any of the above people do.

Because according to this article, he’s been nominated for 2011, along with a few other questionable choices:

Among the nominees this year are Alice Cooper, Beastie Boys, Bon Jovi, Chic, Neil Diamond, Donovan, Dr. John, J Geils Band, LL Cool J, Darlene Love, Donna Summer and Tom Waits.

A few thoughts:

  • How disco artists like Donna Summer and Chic continue to get nominated (ABBA and The Bee Gees are already in) for something called the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame continues to puzzle me. I suppose the same could be said of the many hip hop, r&b and country artists that have been nominated over the years, but has there ever been a bigger enemy to rock music than fucking disco?
  • Anyone who knows me knows that I think Bon Jovi is the fucking Antichrist. Sure they had a few fun songs in the ’80s, but so did every other shitty hair band at the time. Jon Bon Jovi must’ve sucked the devil’s dick, which is the only explanation for how that band has been around for so long.
  • Alice Cooper deserves to be in, so no problem there. Oh wait, there is a problem – he’s been eligible for at least 15 years now – what was the fucking holdup?
  • The Beastie Boys deserve their place in there too. But before KISS, Rush, etc.? Give me a break.
  • LL Cool J – what more can be said? Loved him in Deep Blue Sea.

Wearing my Rush shirt to the Hall of Fame in '07

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SUFJAN STEVENS WANTS YOU TO PAY MORE FOR HIS NEW ALBUM

Posted in Music with tags , on 09/22/2010 by Chris

In a recent e-mail letter sent out to fans, Stevens’ label Asthmatic Kitty basically told them that since Amazon would likely be charging a very low price for his upcoming album, they should consider alternate (and more expensive) options when paying for it, because “the work our artists produce is worth more than the cost of a latte”. Seriously, read it here (and this is likely the only time I’ll ever willingly link to something on Pitchfork).

It’s amazing that with illegal downloads still the biggest problem for records labels, one would have the balls to step out and actually ask the people planning on paying to pay more.

But here’s a few thoughts I had after reading this:

  1. My first thought when hearing this news was “This is coming from his label, not necessarily him, so let’s cut him a break for the time being”. But then two minutes of research led me to find that Asthmatic Kitty is the label he founded and helps run, so fuck him.
  2. When you name your record label Asthmatic Kitty (was Cocksucker Records already taken?), please realize that nobody is going to take you seriously, especially when you try to make a serious statement like this.
  3. Since he pretty much owns the label he’s on, he likely makes more money per album sold than most other artists who don’t have that convenience. But y’know, please give him more of it, so he can continue to fund documentaries about shit no one cares about.
  4. A latte? Seriously, that’s your comparison? To borrow a page from Louis C.K., it’s times like this when I wish the word faggot wasn’t associated with gay people, and instead associated with anyone who makes shitty stuck-up statements like that.
  5. Last but not least, thanks for telling a bunch of people that were likely to just download it from iTunes for $9.99 that they can now get it much cheaper from Amazon.

Please give me more money so that I may purchase new wings. Also, please take me seriously.

I WONDER IF KIM KARDASHIAN CAN NAME MORE THAN FIVE VAN HALEN SONGS

Posted in Music with tags , , on 09/19/2010 by Chris

Retro-looking band shirts never fail to attract the masses. Whether or not people are actual fans of the band are secondary to that oh-so-cool retro look, and the false sense of cred that comes from wearing one. It reminds me of the time I almost murdered somebody in public. The near-victim in question was a waitress in DC who, upon seeing the retro-looking Pink Floyd shirt my friend had on, exclaimed, “Heeey I saw a shirt like that in Banana Republic! I almost bought it because it looked retro, but then I realized I didn’t know what Pink Floyd is.” Well at least she stopped herself. Unbeknownst to her, it was all that prevented her from getting stabbed in the eye with my fork.

What kills me the most are the band “tour” shirts with a random year from the band’s “classic” period slapped on, worn by people who clearly hadn’t been around to experience it. I’m sure Zac Efron feels cool in his Van Halen “Live 1982″ shirt, despite the fact that he wouldn’t be born for another few years. Perhaps he heard the show from his dad’s nutsack?

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